Losing someone: Grieving

Losing someone is hard. It can be unexpected and sudden or something you have been expecting for a while. It still hurts nonetheless. Recently I lost my class teacher of 2 years to dengue. It was something no one could have expected. Some people say “you don’t understand the importance of something unless it’s gone” and it does prove to be true. But time doesn’t wait for anyone and we have to move forward with our life. This doesn’t mean we should avoid the situation all together. Grieving is an important process and it takes time. People grieve in different ways. Some isolate themselves from the whole world or some try to forget about it through taking up unhealthy practices whereas some try to build themselves up with the help of their close ones. Some cry the whole day whereas some don’t cry at all. Some recover faster others fail to do so. This doesn’t mean that they don’t feel bad at all. People are unique and their coping mechanisms are unique. Some may move on faster than others and that is okay.

What should you do? How should you cope up with it?

Do not avoid your feelings. If you feel sad, it’s okay, if you feel helpless, it’s okay. Try to accept your feelings instead of denying it. Guilt of not doing more, regret of not spending more time together, sadness of not being with them anymore, anger at the one who left you or even yourself are some feelings you may face.

Talking to someone, sharing your feelings with the person who you feel comfortable with is something that helps you grieve better. Having social support next to you through these tough times can help a lot. If you have no one to talk to or you feel uncomfortable, you could even visit a psychologist.

Even journaling or writing down your feelings can make you feel lighter and better. You should cry if you want to. It is definitely better to take it all out instead of holding it in.

Especially talking to those who are facing the loss as well and reminiscing the memories and retelling stories can provide comfort for everyone.

Taking up unhealthy practices is a big no. Exercising, sleeping, eating healthy food and taking care of yourself will make you feel better. Unhealthy practices may make you even more upset. Looking after yourself will help improve your mental health as well as physical health.

Try to take up activities or hobbies you love. Dancing, gaming, reading, art and craft, painting, playing sports or listening to music provide great comfort.

Losing someone is a part of life. Grieving is an important process. It is okay to take a lot of time to come to terms with it. Being intact with your feelings and not keeping it all in is an important part of it.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash